2022.03.01 Journal

* Day three of journaling about Courage/Affirmation/Feasible
* Social health – Hang out with friends in person.

* Skim lesson 3 again in the yoga book
* Get outfit for party on Saturday

* Meditation – Day 722
* Journaling – Day 64
* Yoga – Day 64
* Cold shower – Day 36

reflections:: 8:09am I’m glad I spent time with a couple of friends yesterday and looking forward to more the next couple of days. It’s clear to me now that I have more community and a socially healthier lifestyle in SF than in NYC. So I need to move back to SF. Most likely in a communal living situation so that my community is baked.

I get to write today about courage. And just by having it be the theme of the week, I at least spoke about it yesterday at dinner with a friend. It’s affirming to see feedback loops around my feeling more emotions. I’m now recognizing courage in a number of aspects of my life, and that’s something that I journaled about in previous topics that I haven’t in this one.

What are ways that I’ve exhibited courage?

  • Being an entrepreneur. There’s a lot of rejection and a lot of no’s. I’ve conditioned myself to look at no’s as progress in many areas of my life, and when I notice that I’m shying away from a no, it’s easy for me to course-correct.
  • Times when I’ve asked someone to hang out – whether as a friend or romantically – that I’m attracted to spending time with. There’s vulnerability there, and I exhibit this all the time.
  • When I stick to my morals, even though I don’t know how things will turn out in the short term. It takes courage to be honest or stick to unpopular decisions. And the courage I’ve exhibited in a lot of these cases is underscored by reflecting on the times from past journal posts where I did not exhibit courage.
  • When I make a commitment and don’t know how I will accomplish it, but believe that I will find a way.

And something interesting as I’m thinking about instances of courage, is that courage is different from strength, even though I used to link them and as I was writing down bullets above I started looking for ways that I’ve exhibited physical courage. I thought about my survival course for example, and realized that because I was strong enough to do everything we needed to, I didn’t actually have to be courageous. Courage requires a situation that’s uncertain enough that an affirmation is necessary to go for an outcome that is feasible. And the more you have to actually affirm yourself that something is possible, the more courage is required. I suppose that once you align your mind and focus, you are acting and less courage is required though, since you’re on your feasible path.

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