2022.04.17 Journal

9:28am. Currently at two friends’ guest room in San Francisco. Decided to move back here. There’s a part of me that feels like I was indecisive by moving from SF to NY and back. And yet, another part of me that’s happy I did it given the reasons I had for doing so and how things have progressed since both career/purpose wise and with regards to clarity for wanting to live in SF.

I fell off of many of my habits the past month and a half, including meditation the past couple of days. Which was a big wake-up call for me. Breaking a 2+ year daily meditation streak lets me know that my life has gotten out of alignment with my intentions. The immediate things for me to focus on are meditation and journaling. With those two things, everything else will quickly fall into alignment.

Today’s to-do items:

  • Meditate for 30 minutes
  • Grab stuff from Agape
  • Friend’s Easter celebration
  • Housing follow-ups – 2 of 2
  • Food
    • Start using Zero again
  • Schedule doctor’s appointment

9:41 am: Meditation prep

M: Motivation is to be more present and intentional with myself
G: To meditate for 30 minutes and observe what happens
E: I expect to get distracted and for it to be challenging. I resolve to observe those expectations and hold them lightly.
D: I resolve to practice diligently for the time of the meditation session
D: I anticipate that I’ll have thoughts about work, habits, romantic relationships, my current level of physical fitness, and my housing situation. Perhaps even about whether I’m meditating correctly or ways I could be more diligent about meditating regularly. I’ll smile at these distractions when they happen and bring my attention back to my breath.
P: I’ll sit on a pillow

10:18 am: Just finished meditating. I sat on the pillow for a while and switched to laying down when my legs fell asleep. Found myself thinking about cultivating friendships, leaving my laptop and phone at my friend’s office at the beginning and end of each day so I’ve only got them during work hours, journaling about courage, and setting up a doctor’s appointment.

10:32 am I just set up a doctor’s appointment for tomorrow. Feeling great about that and getting my life back in alignment.

11:58am Friend whose place I’m staying at happens to be a doctor who specializes in sports injuries. He just told me what to tell the doctor tomorrow and thinks there’s a strong chance I respond well to 6 weeks of virtual physical therapy. Wow! Then I went to Agape and grabbed my bags. Glad to have my running shoes back! Some other things also, but mainly my running shoes.

12:16pm Downloaded Zero, looked at the news, looked into hikes in parks around SF. Taking a nap now. Then showering and grabbing beers for the easter event.

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