Ysiad

todo::
* 30 minutes on the programming tutorial Did over an hour
* Day Four of journaling about Grief/Sadness/Regret & Depression
* Make veggie stew for the week

habits::
* Meditation – Day 684
* Journaling – Day 27
* Yoga – Day 26

reflections:: 11:20 am. Yesterday was pretty jam-packed. I had a number of work meetings and calls until about 9pm or so. Afterwards just chilled out, made food, and watched a drama series with my housemate. I slept until fairly late this morning. Laid in bed until about 8:30am or so. Then did my yoga + meditation, made a veggie stew for the week, and now here I am journaling.

The tv series I watched had several characters who were struggling with processing grief. The general arc of the show is that a number of characters had challenging situations in their lives and the pain was too hard for them to process. They were situations that anyone watching would have trouble processing also. Conversations with people around me, like my housemates, also have a grief-tinted lens to them this week. I find myself wondering, “Whatever challenge this person is dealing with, can it be linked to an avoidance of admitting something hurts and feeling sad about it?” Interesting having that as one of the regular questions I ask myself, since it wasn’t before. I’m finding that as I’m more curious about emotions, I’m just naturally less self-centered, since more of my energy is going into understanding others. And just in general, I’m glad and grateful to be feeling sadness and being more open to that. It’s fascinating seeing how easy it is to create positive feedback loops around noticing challenging things. I attribute that to regular meditation, where for months I had the intention of giving myself positive feedback for noticing when I get distracted. I’m noticing that once you learn to do that, you learn how to create any sort of change you might like in your life.